yamanai ame da neeee

HOMO JANAI!
Friday, October 31, 2008

just finished hana kimi sp.

hahaha its quite ok.. the only part that made me go HAHAHAHA is, the soccer match part.
too ridiculous not to laugh alr. but anw i got a nice screenshot of nakatsu.. tried for sekime but failed. hahahah his hair is so explosive there!! (just like mine <3)

5:48 PM

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

i rmb the feeling of being stressed over the lack of urgency and.. stress.

it felt like not so long ago.

hai..... omg i'm feeling bogged down with projects again..
i rly rly rly wanna run away. geog lessons always give me this feeling.

he'll show all those pictures he took himself from all over the world.. pastures in australia, the narnia beach in new zealand, yosemite in america, rock formations in spain, rivers in japan, glacier-formed formations in england.. omg i just feel like I NEED TO BE DOING THAT.
i long for the strange feeling of being lost and happy at the same time, being able to be a child all over again-exclaim in amazement about something that is only cement and gloss in singapore, eat expensive food and not feel bad, eat cheap food and feel like its still the best on earth, buy things you know are useless and wake up every morning knowing you're gna do smth or see smth NEW today. smth fresh, ambiguous, wonderous.
i need to eat ice cream in fbts and a thick jacket when its 10 degrees, and have takoyaki at a road side stall and laugh about things like, how strange we look among all those suits and ties.
make a fool of myself by taking crazy pictures of goodlooking boys and men, becoming extremely happy that a cute school boy said DOZO to me... trying to converse with old and friendly people in they're language, only to realise its not really possible and then start to flap your hands and speak funnily, desperate to be understood. then feel accomplished that they found you cute.

i need to be among the babble of a strange language, to be put out of place, to feel like something has left an imprint in my heart and my memory.

there's this crazy yearning in my heart to leave this place.. anywhere.
i wanna go to the beach in tioman, desaru, rendang and lie there with my mp3 and my book
and smell the sea breeze.
omg is that so difficult.. i'm so desperate, i would go on my own if only my parents allowed me to.
just looking at pictures make me feel like... omg why are you still here?

just anywhere but here, please.

6:59 PM

A list.
Friday, October 24, 2008

-i went to ntu on wednesday, visited betty and liz. had loads (and i rly do mean loads) of fun. thanks guys. and liz, STAY STRONG!! love you guys.
-reminder to all: take a look at my new pics on fb and comment if you want to! hehe
-sent my mama to airport today, she shld be on the plane to dubai to transit to greece now
-i was confused over my majors and am beginning to doubt myself
-my pet earned another trophy in pet soc.
-i bought new halloween clothes, a pair of shoes, new cushions and a plant for her.
-i had my AHA! moment in lit today and felt the most accomplished feeling i have ever felt in the past... 2 yrs or so.
-my lit teacher's eyes lit up when i explained my point and throughout the entire tutorial looked to me for my opinion. i'm so damn proud of myself i feel like crying. do you know how much i needed that?
-i'm beginning to think i shld major in lit.
-i feel lit is not a good major.
-i don't wanna be a teacher
-i'm worrying for certain friends
-i repeated angry words in my head
-shuduan and i dreamt about going to hogwarts.
-i bought poa and cos today
-i went to have dessert with matong today
-i gained weight but do not mind it cause its dessert.
-the macha was the best
-i bought a new skirt
-i got 3 new shirts
-i fell in love with liz's starbucks merchandise
-had an arguement with my dad about budget airlines and elasticity of air tickets
-i photostated my entire lit story book.. all for a large big fat price of.. $1.50
-im spending more time with adeline then ever
-no one wants to watch Avenue Q with me
-i got my mum to pay for the jap course im gna take
-i skyped with delia and did stupid things.
-i tried to be chronological but failed, cause i realise i skyped with delia yesterday night, before the lit the dessert and everything.

12:03 AM

Monday, October 20, 2008

i have never wanted smth so badly in my life.
please let it happen, please.
i'm praying for it.

11:48 PM

ahhhh
Sunday, October 19, 2008

pretty

3:29 PM

Saturday, October 18, 2008

ahhh i feel soo much better after sleeping and reading my entire day off.
whyy do i keep falling sick. so horrible. anw i was reading this on some lj. hahah damn funny!
guess who helen is.

Helen: Turn left in one mile.
Me: Yeah...only I think I'm going to go straight and turn later on because then we can see the snow geese at that wildlife management area up by Route 17. I'd really like to see the snow geese. Wouldn't you?
Helen: Turn left in point two miles.
Me: I'm going the snow geese way. (passes turn) It's not that far.
Helen: Make a U-turn.
Me: They're really pretty, and it's just the right time of year. You can hear them honking and everything.
Helen: Make a U-turn.
Me: No. I haven't seen the snow geese since I lived in Vermont, more than ten years ago, and it's October. I'm never in this part of Vermont in October. We're going this way.
Helen: Turn left in point two miles.
Me: I'm turning left on the snow geese road. Not before. (passes left turn) You'll like this...you'll see.
Helen: Make a U-turn.
Me: Oh come on... It's going to take us nine minutes out of our way. Nine minutes. That's it. You said so yourself. What's nine minutes when we're talking about thousands of amazing migratory birds? Where's your sense of adventure? Where's your sense of wonder?
Helen: Make a U-turn.

Eventually, Helen gave up on me and we arrived at the Dead Creek Wildlife Management Area to join the dozen or so bird watchers taking in the spectacle of the Snow Geese.

YES helen is a GPS unit. SO cute! HAHAHA
it sounds so stoically indignant and insistant. haha damn cute.

12:25 AM

Thursday, October 16, 2008

shuduan and i are reliving good old times on msn right now.

yes i agree with you ahahah we are supposed to be sleeping. ahhh damn.

oh well. ah i rly miss innova, like a lot a lot alotttttttt

i even miss the times where i tortured myself at that very place every morning and every pe lesson and every wed with odac. omg

1:27 AM

maybe, a small celebration?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008

finally, we completed our geog.
today was such a crazy day and i'm so glad its over.
for now, its bathe and sleep.

2:47 AM

Monday, October 13, 2008

if we could choose the way we go, how would you want to do it?
hmmmmmm

seriously speaking,
i can't wait for this week to be over.
and then after geog it will be english then js then exams then holidays then choose mods then plan tutorials then the same thing all over again.
i'm trying to enjoy monotony like how i used to but its very difficult.

the only thing thats making me laugh now is.. k8. haha ok at least i xiao de chu lai.
i forgot, saturday night. ODAC OUTING!
omg i had fun. it's been a long time.. i can't say we did much catching up.. but we played alot, laughed alot and visited a few cool places. and ah lao po is going back soon... take good care of mark please.. i'll take good care of rapheal. haha..
oh man i miss the old times. omg i want to be 18 again.

haiii now i think abt my results i still feel like stabbing myself with smth.

1:50 AM

Sunday, October 12, 2008

these past few days haven't been good and smth is just nagging at me.
just now i couldn't take it anymore, i called my parents.
now i feel better.

9:16 PM

all i know.
Saturday, October 11, 2008

I am not spending a few dozen thousands to screw myself up.
I didn't work so hard during alvls to come here and screw myself up.
I didn't dream of it for years to screw myself up.
I didn't take all those insults to screw myself up.

I do not plan to screw up.
i don't know what all those people mean when they made uni sound like a stroll in the garden, but i've now learnt from experience that it is much more then that, so do not come and tell me that i'm over reacting, i'm doing too much, i'm being unnecessary.
all today has done is to show me that, no matter how hard i think i've worked, its still not good enough.
i don't know how long this resolve can last, but i will strive to make good of it.
and to keep it going.
i've always been afraid to make promises because i know i do not shoulder them well, but its not a solution to run forever. i guess i have to grow up soon.
i will not let myself be screwed around by my own naivity.

2:32 AM

Friday, October 10, 2008

i don't rly want to turn 20?

i'm sorry i'm saying this,
but maybe i feel tired enough for now.

i cannot just keep quiet abt this and pretend nothing's happening.
and the funny thing is, i know i'm saying 'i can't go on keeping quiet', but i will in the end..
haha what a loser. you know how things are starting to get comfortable but at the same time it just can't stop bugging me... thats a damn contridictory state to be in. which sucks la.

whatever la, i'm just gna concentrate on finishing all these rubbish projects and catch up with my readings. and, i'm rly nervous abt getting back my paper tml. i know i won't do well, and i rly wished that i would. hai. to think i was optimistic about it. how silly.

anw disppoinments aside,
i had a good time with winnie today!! i suddenly felt like shopping so we went to vivo and omg shopping at daiso rly reminded me of Japan days. felt so good i wanted to transport there immediately. i was almost hoping when i stepped out, it will be the streets of harajuku agn.
haha, besides that. the bus ride home was damn funny we laugh like shit and i srsly think we were annoying those people in front of us who were trying to sleep. HAHA

12:31 AM

Saturday, October 04, 2008

KANJANI 8 IS SO DAMN FUNNY.
ITS 3AM AND IM STILL LAUGHING AND LAUGHING MY HEAD OFF
GAAGAGAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. omg damn freaking funny hahahahahahahahahha
being with downtown just makes everything twice as lame HAHA!

3:05 AM

today was really really fun,
makes me miss my mates more
(mates was just so i cld achieve a more thorough alliteration)
hahaha.. oh man. no one has changed much and even if they did it's kinda for the better i guess, although i suspect marcus might have gotten cockier. but nvm, people get used to stuff.
but anw we talked till we were forced to go home before the last train leaves..
ate steamboat! then went to come jap place for dessert and then macs for cheap food haha
ohmannnnnnnnn i miss 33a!!!!!!!!!
having sudden withdrawals.
love you guys man.. we need more of these meet ups haha nxt time we shld have a proper one.. like go barbeque or smth.. hahah altho the attendence was quite good today, there are still some missing aussie people etcetc. yay! im glad this happened. hahah rly, going overseas rly bring ppl tgt, humans are so fickle.

1:51 AM

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

i think i can put, one of the causes of schizophrenia is when a patient tries to encompass two different worlds into one mind effectively,
like how, an arts student try to meddle with science.

6:46 PM